I reckon I went into labor early in the afternoon on Sunday, January 12. I say that because I don't really know when labor started. I woke up with a horrible migraine that morning, and lazed about until lunch time, at which point I started feeling like I needed to go to the restroom every twenty minutes or so without ever actually going. I think that due to the fact I'd been having Braxton Hicks so frequently and for so long I didn't recognize the contractions as contractions while they were just in the front.
Jacob was at work at the airport that day, and if any of you watch the news you might remember that on January 12, a Southwest Airlines pilot somehow managed to mistake the itty bitty Taney County airport for the twice as large Branson Airport, where Jacob and I work. I was outside at about 6:00 p.m., trying to cool down, when I saw the plane fly over. I remember thinking, "Whoa, that's a huge plane to be landing at Taney County!" Then Jacob called. "Don't wait up for me, I'm going to be really late. The pilot's an idiot and landed at the wrong airport."
I tried to wait up for him, but at 10:30 p.m. I was too tired. I went and laid down, but was up again by 10:45 because my back hurt and I was having "Braxton hicks". That was common enough for the end of my pregnancy, so I went and worked on the finishing touches for the nursery.
By the time Jacob got home at 11:45, the back pains and simultaneous "Braxton Hicks" were about every six minutes apart. Looking back, I feel stupid for not realizing that those were actual contractions sooner. I guess it was because I'd been having Braxton Hicks for so long, the contractions only hurt in my back. It was dull back pain with what felt like a painless Braxton Hicks at the same time. Should have made the connection, but oh well. We ate supper and tried to go to bed again.
I couldn't fall asleep thanks to the back pain every six minutes. I told Jacob at about 12:30 a.m. that he wouldn't be going to student teach the next day, and downloaded the FullTerm app to time the contractions. I tried to sleep for another fifteen minutes or so, and then decided I couldn't do it and went to take a hot bath instead. Through the course of the night I got a diaper bag packed and did some little tinkery things around the house to keep myself distracted.
I continued to labor at home until 3:50 a.m., when the contractions had been running four and a half to six minutes apart for an hour. I woke Jacob up on accident during a contraction at 3:50 a.m., and he very sleepily asked, "How far apart are they?" I told him, and he got up and dressed faster than I had ever seen anyone before. I laughed at him and told him to calm down and go back to sleep because it would still be a long time and I saw no need to go to the hospital yet. At this point I was still pretty convinced it wasn't real because we were two weeks early.
He got the car seat base installed and found the go bags and the diaper bag and was generally a flurry of movement. I was pacing when he came back in and he looked at me and said for the millionth time, "Did you call Dr. Allison?" I hadn't. He practically had to force me to. She said to go to the hospital, and so we did.
We got to the hospital at about 4:30 am. The nurses asked me if I was a first time mom, and I said I was. The shift supervisor chuckled and told the younger nurse, "Just get them in a non-stress test room." I glared at her.
They hooked me up to all kinds of monitors, and left me for more than half an hour. Finally a nurse came in and started asking questions. How far apart were the contractions? How long had they been going on? When was my last doctor's appointment? What was my blood pressure then, it was a little high now, was that normal? How far dilated was I at that doctor's appointment? She finally decided she'd go ahead and check my cervix.
I love watching nurses when they get surprised.
Her brow furrowed, and she pulled her hand out with her fingers about 6 cm apart, and said, "Okay, I'm going to go get my shift supervisor to double check."
Sure enough, I was 6 cm dilated and 100% effaced. At that point Emery was turned correctly. The shift supervisor apologized to me, and said that because I was so calm when I came in and wasn't howling in pain they just assumed it was false labor. I told her that I'm tough.
I was taken to a delivery room at 6:00 a.m.
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| Board in the delivery room |
I labored there until 9:00 a.m., pacing the hallways and bouncing on a birthing ball. At 9:00 a.m. Dr. Allison checked me and found me at 7.5 cm. She decided to break my water, and I went back to bouncing on the birthing ball.
At 11:00 a.m. the contractions hit their peak. I had been awake for more than 24 hours, I hadn't eaten in 12 hours, I hurt worse than I had ever imagined possible. I am horribly ashamed of how I acted from here on out. I hadn't taken any pain medication: no epidural, no oxygen, no nothing. I didn't think I could do it, and I said that a million times. I said more times than I could count, "I can't do this, I can't do this, I just want it to be done."
Kendra, the nurse, checked me at 11:00. I was dilated to 9.5 cm, but Emery had twisted and was sunny side up. We spent from 11:00 until 12:30 with me crying and complaining and apologizing for being such a horrible patient and generally thinking I wasn't going to be able to do this trying to get Emery to flip back. She didn't. At 12:30 they decided that I needed sleep and gave me a low dose of pain medicine. The medicine did NOTHING for the pain, but pain medicine always makes me dizzy and hallucinate and I suppose that made me easier to handle.
I remember being very worried about a giraffe at one point. They gave me oxygen at one point, and I'm not sure why, but I felt like it was suffocating me.
I slept through two contractions, but at around 1:00 I couldn't anymore. All I wanted to do was push and it hurt so bad to fight that. Kendra checked me again, and I was still at 9.5 cm and Emery was still stuck. She got Dr. Allison, who had me get on my hands and knees over the birthing ball. I was like that for a while, and Emery must have tried to turn a little, because they gave me permission to push for a few contractions. It didn't last long before Dr. Allison had what felt like a million hands up inside of me.
There was so much pressure, which I now know was her turning Emery, and then a horrible burning sensation that felt the exact same as the final push. I was so out of it I thought that Emery had been born with me on my hands and knees. I couldn't hear her cry, and I asked Jacob, "Why isn't she crying?"
They got me onto my back and in the stirrups, and I was told to push again. Within four or five contractions she was born. The whole time I was pushing I was apologizing for screaming and still saying I couldn't do it. The last push burned like hell and it felt like I exploded. I heard her cry, and Jacob went to cut the cord, so I relaxed a little bit. Of course I wasn't done.
I passed the afterbirth and they put Emery on my chest and kept sticking their whole arms up in me and pulling stuff out. I could hear them talking about tears and prolapses but then everything started to spin and fade. They grabbed Emery away really quickly and that's when I got scared. I remember telling Jacob that I loved him and Emery, and asked Mama if I was going to die, because I was fading really fast. Dr Allison said, "No, we'll get the bleeding stopped.", and then she and Kendra were doing a million things at once.
The burning I felt on my hands and knees that I thought was Emery being born was actually my cervix ripping as Dr. Allison tried to turn Emery, she was still turned wrong at birth. The final push tore me, as well. The prolapse was (tmi) rectal and due in part to the third degree tear that I earned during that final push. There was a lot of bleeding. They gave me a shot of some medicine I can't remember to help stop the bleeding, and stitched up my cervix and torn vagina.
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| Daddy post-delivery |
I was moved to the maternity ward and was lucky enough to get a private room. The maternity ward was full to bursting, and I am so glad we had a quiet room.
Healing has gone very well. I was dizzy and pale from the blood loss for a few days, and things are very tender still, but I never hurt bad enough to fill the pain medicine prescriptions I was given.
