34 & 35 Weeks Update

All right. In the last two weeks I have started maternity leave, been to the hospital, been to my family's for Christmas, spent god only knows how many hours making diapers and Christmas gifts, and contracted food poisoning. 

During week 34, Emery dropped and scared us all to death with her decreased movements. Dropping has made my life hell. I was still fairly comfortable with my whaleness. The swelling was a bit annoying, but my back and hips weren't hurting too terribly. And then she dropped. I feel it now, let me tell you. I just want her out.

Jacob finally heard where he'd be student teaching, and it is very bad news. As you may or may not be aware, my place of employment does not offer paid maternity leave. You take what vacation, sick days, and holidays you have, and the rest is unpaid. The somewhat less crappy solution was to take winter furlough, where we will be living off of my greatly reduced salary of about $150 a week. That $150 a week will cover our house payment, and part of our insurance. It doesn't touch electricity, water, sewage, wifi, the rest of the car insurance, my car payment, cell phone bills, gas, or groceries. Jacob makes roughly $200 a week between his two jobs, which would bring our income up to about $100 more than the bills we have to pay.

We have saved up enough money to get us through this winter with that reduced salary. However, we had saved based on Jacob student teaching in Hollister or Branson. CofO, being the lovely people that they are, informed Jacob at 5:30 p.m. on the last day administration works before Christmas break that he will be in Alpena, AR. Alpena is 40 miles away. We did the math based on my car's gas mileage, and we're looking at $90-$100 a week on gas for him to student teach, and that's if gas drops back to what it was pre-Christmas.

Alpena is roughly a 50 minute drive. Jacob will be there from 8:00 a.m. until 3:30 p.m. Monday-Friday. Odds are he will be down there when I go into labor, which means that I, being stranded at the house with no ride, will have to wait on him for an hour before going to the hospital. That's terrifying to me. I know the first baby usually takes a while, but my aunt had her first one in four hours from stage one labor to delivery. A guy Jacob works with's fiance had their baby twelve minutes after she realized she was in labor, because her pain tolerance was so high she didn't notice the contractions for what they were.

This long drive means Jacob will have to quit one of his jobs, knocking our income by $100 a week. 

He mentioned all of this to his supervising teacher, and kindly pointed out that one of the other English Ed majors was assigned two teachers in Branson. She lives on campus, which means she has literally NO bills to pay. The school will even provide her meals through student teaching because she lives on campus. He requested that he be allowed one of those teachers, to avoid the strain this would be putting on us financially. The other option, he told her, was for him to take out a student loan to cover gas. CofO will not allow you to graduate until your student loans are paid off, because they're a "free" school where all students graduate debt free! She advised him to go to the financial department and ask about a gas allowance.

Their response? "We have a $300 book scholarship you can have. It can't be used for gas, though, only books." He doesn't need books this semester. I am so frustrated over this it makes me cry every time I think about it.

We went to my parent's house and stayed for a few days around Christmas. It was absolutely lovely. Emmy made out like a bandit with her Christmas gifts, as did I. Jacob and I received a Keurig and a Kitchenaid, as well as a good bit of cash that we're saving for this winter.

We got Emery's crib down and started to clean and repair it. The crib was made for my Mama when she was pregnant with me by her Grandpa, and now it will be mine. My parents will be bringing it, my rocking chair, and the rocking horse Grandad made me down sometime next week.

I had a doctor's appointment the day after Christmas, the first of my weekly appointments. I had some blood in my urine, and Dr. Allison seemed genuinely weirded out that I could have a UTI that severe and not be complaining of pain. But I've had no pain, so... 

I'm currently battling a nasty case of food poisoning, either from the Chinese buffet, or from the leftovers I had for supper last night. In either case, I was up all night throwing up, I've had a fever and headache all day, and the nausea and diarrhea are killer. I hate being sick so much,

How far along? 34 & 35 weeks

Total weight gain: I weighed in at 210 at 34 weeks and 219 at 35 weeks. Keep in mind my 35 weeks weigh in was the day after Christmas, right after eating at a Chinese buffet.
Maternity clothes? I wear them! All the time!
Have you started to show yet: You tell me!

34 Weeks

35 Weeks, after she dropped

Stretch marks? My old ones have started to darken and lengthen, and look generally horrifying. Like, seriously. Pardon the weird angle and the fact that the belly band of my maternity jeans is digging into my fat, but here's a picture of them:

Sleep: Rare and fitful
Best moment this week: Being with my family for Christmas
Miss Anything? Sleeping well, feeling well,my waist
Movement: After the scare she gave us, she's been moving non-stop
Food cravings: None
Anything making you queasy or sick: Food poisoning
Gender: GIRL!
Labor Signs: Definitely not.
Symptoms: Backaches, headaches, heartburn, swollen hands and feet, Braxton Hicks, not sleeping,
Belly Button in or out? It's very close to popping out
Wedding rings on or off? Off. My hands and feet are back to being so swollen they've been cracking
Happy or Moody most of the time: So, so moody.
Looking forward to: Meeting Emmy

Grounded for Life

Emery is officially grounded for life. She tried to scare her father and I to death, and then she had the audacity to make me look like an idiot to everyone at Cox.

I didn't sleep at all on Tuesday night, due to back pain and general discomfort. This is normal towards the end of your pregnancy, I hear. Wednesday at work I was very uncomfortable all day long, with my hands and feet swelling far more than they usually do. My feet actually swelled so much that they cracked and started bleeding at work. My blood pressure was elevated all day, complete with red face and dizziness. By the end of my shift it was obvious she had dropped. Emery moved every so often throughout the day, but her movements were weaker than normal, and they continued to get weaker as the day went on.

When I got home at about 6:00 I decided that with how weird I'd been feeling, and how little I'd felt her move, something wasn't right. I grabbed a Dr. Pepper, ate some sugary cereal, and went to lay down on my side and kick count. I had only kick counted once before and the first time I had reached ten kicks within fifteen minutes. I laid there and waited.... and waited... and waited. There was nothing between 6:00 and 7:00. So, I drank some more Dr. Pepper, munched on some ice, and went back to laying.

Nothing. At 8:00 I stopped and took a bath with my feet up, to try and at least relieve some swelling. By the time I got out at about 9:00 I still hadn't felt her move, and I was starting to get really freaked out. I texted Jacob at work and told him to call me as soon as he could, and that I would explain when he got there.

I hopped back on the couch and started doing everything that ordinarily provokes movement. I was pushing her, I was singing, I was playing music she normally likes, I was putting a cold washcloth on my tummy - everything. She didn't move. When Jacob hadn't answered me at 9:30 I texted him again "I don't want to freak you out or make you leave work earlier than you can, because either way what's done is done, but I think we've either lost Emmy or something is very wrong. Please call me." He got home at 9:50.

As soon as he got home, I started having a panic attack and trying to explain. He started talking to her and feeling, because she typically flips out when he talks to her, but she didn't move. So he called the after hours number for our doctor. Dr. Allison didn't get back to us until about 10:00, and when she did I finally felt a kick. It was tiny, and I'm not all too sure it wasn't just gas that my crazed brain mistook for a kick, but it was something. She told us to grab our bag and go to the hospital, because it sounded like she might have wrapped the cord around her neck when she dropped, and if that was the case and she was in distress they would be doing an emergency c section.

We hurriedly threw together a bag and got to the hospital. They took my blood pressure and hooked me up to a machine that monitored her heart rate and and movement. Her heartbeat was strong, and she reacted to everything she was supposed to, heart rate wise. They gave me some apple juice and ice, and within five minutes she was moving. The movements weren't very strong, but movements were movements.

The little brat just wanted attention, apparently. She's been moving like normal ever since.

33 Week Update

It's snowing again. I am so over winter.

Tomorrow I go to the hospital to preregister, and I am so nervous! The roads are still bad enough I've been hitching rides to work to avoid driving, but tomorrow I don't have a choice.

Work has been a bundle of chaos thanks to the weather. In case you haven't been around airports in the winter, there's about a million extra steps that go into getting planes out when there's ice and snow everywhere, and people tend to get EXTRA dumb. It doesn't help that we're so short staffed, as everyone is using the last of their vacation time before it disappears at the end of the month. The good news is I'm down to 12 days until maternity leave, and 49 days until Emmy's due date.

How far along? 33 weeks

Total weight gain: I have no idea, but I can tell you that Emery is HUGE
Maternity clothes? I wear them! All the time!
Have you started to show yet: You tell me!

Stretch marks? My old ones have started to darken and lengthen, and look generally horrifying. Like, seriously. Pardon the weird angle and the fact that the belly band of my maternity jeans is digging into my fat, but here's a picture of them:

Sleep: Rare and fitful
Best moment this week: Ehhhhh, I guess the bubble bath I'm about to take
Miss Anything? My grandpa, sleeping
Movement: She's moving non-stop again. I jinxed it by saying she was moving less. Hiccups every day!
Food cravings: None
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope!
Gender: GIRL!
Labor Signs: Definitely not.
Symptoms: Backaches, headaches, heartburn, swollen hands and feet, Braxton Hicks, not sleeping,
Belly Button in or out? Still very much in. I don't think it will come out, but it is much shallower
Wedding rings on or off? On, for now.
Happy or Moody most of the time: So, so moody.
Looking forward to: A break from work!

31 & 32 Week Updates

This has been the passing of another two uneventful weeks in the life of Amanda Leach. I'm afraid my days consist of work, more work, and sleep. 

Jacob's parents were here from Haiti, which is one of many reasons why I didn't post at 31 weeks.

We went to my parent's house for Thanksgiving last week (which is why I didn't have a post at 31 weeks). It was wonderful to see my family, as it always is. I ate far more than I should, which is part of why I've been avoiding the scale lately. I also had a mishap while trimming my hair that involved a playful cat, and now I have bangs again. I have a love/hate relationship with bangs, so this had been particularly upsetting, however I had no choice.

The last two days I have been trapped in my house by snow and ice. Lots of it. I know we had a half inch of ice before it started snowing, and it appears as though we've gotten 8-10 inches of snow on top of that. The HOA has done NOTHING about the roads, which has pissed me off royally. I pay them $48 a month. That covers yard mowing during the summer (which they did only once a month) and road maintenance in the winter, as well as maintenance on the well (we still pay a water bill, though, so this makes no sense to me). 

This summer, as my grass would reach six to eight inches tall, I would say to myself, "It's not that big a deal. They at least keep the roads clear when it snows, which is more important." Yeah. We knew about this storm for a week in advance. MoDot put salt in the roads they maintain in preparation. The HOA did nothing. It sleeted and snowed all day Thursday. They did nothing. It snowed all day today. They still did nothing. I had three cars almost spin out into my yard today, and still the road stays covered by a half inch of ice and eight-ten inches of snow. Bah. Lord only knows how I'll get to work tomorrow.

On top of the already depressing weather yesterday, Southwest Airlines announced they'll be pulling out of the airport, which is a death knell for my place of employment. It means I can see with 100% certainty when my husband and I will no longer have a job. This is soul crushing in and of itself, but the worst part is that I found out from a local news station. No one at work saw fit to call me after the all hands meeting they held immediately after Southwest's announcement to warn me, "Hey, KY3 is about to run a story about Southwest pulling out of the airport, and all of your family will be calling you flipping out over this. Head's up!"

Perhaps the hormones are causing me to over-react to everything, but I'm ready for this week to be over.

How far along? 31-32 weeks

Total weight gain: I have no idea.
Maternity clothes? I wear them!
Have you started to show yet: You tell me!

31 Weeks, post Thanksgiving meal #2

32 Weeks

Stretch marks? My old ones have started to darken and lengthen, and look generally horrifying
Sleep: Still not able to sleep through the night. Between how bad my back hurts, Emery's hiccups, and charlie horses sleep is precious and rare.
Best moment this week: Seeing my family at Thanksgiving
Miss Anything? My grandpa, sleeping, wine
Movement: She's moving less, due to the fact that she's huge, but we had the first painful movement this week.
Food cravings: None
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope!
Gender: GIRL!
Labor Signs: Definitely not.
Symptoms: Backaches, headaches, heartburn, swollen hands and feet, Braxton Hicks, not sleeping,back pain
Belly Button in or out? Still very much in. I don't think it will come out, but it is much shallower
Wedding rings on or off? On, for now.
Happy or Moody most of the time: So, so moody.
Looking forward to: A break from work!

29 & 30 Week Update

Due to internet problems, I was unable to post last week's update until today. Unfortunately, I don't have much to report from the last two weeks. I had my 28 week appointment, and am now going every two weeks. Emery is still sideways, and she's still measuring very big. Dr. Allison told me this week that they have been monitoring me for preeclampsia, especially since I recently found out my mother had it. My glucose tolerance test came back perfectly.  I have another appointment on Thursday.

They posted the furlough list at work, and of course, I am furloughed! This is very good, as I otherwise would not have had any pay during maternity leave. 

I had a baby shower on Sunday, which I will post about later.

How far along? 29-30 weeks

Total weight gain: I'm at 201 right now
Maternity clothes? I wear them!
Have you started to show yet: You tell me!

Stretch marks? My old ones have started to darken and lengthen
Sleep: I can't sleep through the night, and I'm miserably exhausted
Best moment this week: Baby shower
Miss Anything? My grandpa, sleeping
Movement: She is constantly moving.
Food cravings: None
Anything making you queasy or sick: I had the stomach flu during week 29, and that DEFINITELY made me sick.
Gender: GIRL!
Labor Signs: Definitely not.
Symptoms: Backaches, headaches, heartburn, swollen hands and feet, Braxton Hicks, not sleeping
Belly Button in or out? Still very much in. I don't think it will come out, but it is much shallower
Wedding rings on or off? On, for now.
Happy or Moody most of the time: So, so moody.
Looking forward to: A break from work!

Updated List of Baby Items

Furniture

• Crib *
• Mattress*
• Bassinet*
• Rocking chair*
• Dresser/changing table*
• Changing pad for the top of the dresser
• Hamper
• High chair

Gear

• Stroller*
• Shopping cart cover*
• Baby monitor
• Baby sling*
• Infant tub
• Swing
• Baby hangers
• Car seat
• Night light
• Safety gates
• Cabinet and door latches
• Outlet covers

Nursing

• Boppy*
• 12 burp rags *
• 4-6 bottles
• Nipples
• Bottle brush
• Dishwasher caddy
• Breast pump*
• Nipple cream
• 3 nursing bras*
• Breast pads
• 5 pacifiers
• Sippy cups
• Baby spoons
• Baby bowls

Linens/Bed Sheets

• 2 hooded bath towels*
• 2 receiving blankets*
• 2 crib comforters/blankets*
• 4 crib sheets*
• 2 crib pads
• 2 waterproof mattress pads
• 2 bassinet sheets*
• 2 changing pad covers
• 2 swaddle sets*
• 6 wash cloths*

Clothing

• 3-6 Footed sleepers
• 4-6 short sleeve onesies
• 3 long sleeve onesies
• 2-4 bibs*
• Bunting
• 2 - 4 hats*
• 1 jacket
• Mittens
• 12 pairs of socks/booties
• 3-5 pairs of pants
• 3-5 little t shirts
• 3 sweaters
• 2-4 dressy outfits

Health

• Baby powder
• Blunt nail scissors
• Brush
• Cotton swabs
• Diaper doo
• 30 cloth diapers (to do a load every other day)*
• 18 cloth wipes
• 3-4 boxes newborn diapers (disposable)*
• Baby soap*
• Baby shampoo*
• Nasal aspirator
• Teethers
• Thermometer
• Sun shade for the car

Play

• Baby bouncer
• Mobile
• Soft toys
• Soft books

For Me (Kind of)

• Diaper bag
• Breast cover for nursing in public
• Maxi pads
• Underwear I can throw out
• Nursing tops

28 Week Update

I had  my glucose tolerance test this week, and it was not as bad as everyone had me prepared for. I was prepared for the worst tasting drink in my life, and a stomachache afterwards. I am in no way saying that what I had was good, but it tasted like melted orange popsicles. I will find out on Thursday if I have gestational diabetes or not. I'm pretty nervous about it.

How far along? 28 weeks

Total weight gain: I'm at about 200 right now
Maternity clothes? I wear them!
Have you started to show yet: You tell me!

Stretch marks? My old ones have started to darken
Sleep: I can't sleep through the night, and I'm miserably exhausted
Best moment this week: My brother Jack came to see me!
Miss Anything? My grandpa, sleeping
Movement: She is constantly moving.
Food cravings: None
Anything making you queasy or sick: Sinus drainage!
Gender: GIRL!
Labor Signs: Definitely not.
Symptoms: Backaches, headaches, heartburn, swollen hands and feet, Braxton Hicks, not sleeping
Belly Button in or out? Still very much in. I don't think it will come out, but it is much shallower
Wedding rings on or off? It's on a chain around my neck, because I keep forgetting to put it back on.
Happy or Moody most of the time: So, so moody.
Looking forward to: Finding out the results of the GTT

27 Week Update

This week was fairly slow. Work was hectic beyond belief, but that made time fly. We went to Lai Lai on Thursday, and I got the greatest fortune ever, as seen below:

Thursday was October 24th. As you may remember, my original due date was January 24th, and due to the fact that I know the day I conceived, the day I still think should be my due date. This was just scary coincidental. I really needed it, too, as this week was very hard for me, Thursday in particular. Thursday marked one year since my miscarriage.

Papaw, Mimi, Annie, Veda, and Deakon came to see me on Friday, and took me out to eat. Annie brought me some maternity clothes, red raspberry leaf tea, alfalfa tea, and nettle tea, all of which I am very excited about. Papaw also bought us all of the wood pellets we need to make it through the winter.

How far along? 27 weeks

Total weight gain: I'm at about 198 right now.
Maternity clothes? Annie brought me some very cute maternity clothes, so my collection is quite large.
Have you started to show yet: You tell me!

Stretch marks? None that I didn't have already.
Sleep: I am exhausted, but I am unable to sleep through the night no matter how hard I try.
Best moment this week: Seeing baby Deakon, Veda, and my aunt and grandparents!
Miss Anything? My grandpa, shaving without difficulty.
Movement: She is constantly moving.
Food cravings: Taquitoes
Anything making you queasy or sick: Sinus drainage!
Gender: GIRL!
Labor Signs: Definitely not.
Symptoms: Backaches, headaches, heartburn, swollen hands and feet, Braxton Hicks
Belly Button in or out? Still very much in. I don't think it will come out, but it is much shallower
Wedding rings on or off? It's on a chain around my neck, because I keep forgetting to put it back on.
Happy or Moody most of the time: So, so moody.
Looking forward to: Getting the glucose test over and done with.

Maternity Leave

As I have said before, I have spent the last 22 weeks flipping out about maternity leave. As with most workplaces in America, the airport does not offer paid maternity leave, and only offers the minimum 12 week leave mandated by FMLA. I would be paid for as much holiday, sick, and vacation time I had built up, but that was it.

Since opening, the airport has done a mandatory furlough during the winter. This year is the first year the furlough is strictly voluntary, and they had been talking of doing no furlough at all. Being furloughed was my only chance at having a "paid" maternity leave. Last week, my supervisor said that it looked like there would be no furlough, and that we would all be put on the work shared program.

My heart sank. Jacob and I cannot afford for me to be without pay for an extended time, as I am the primary income for our family. I quickly figured out how much time exactly I would have paid, as that would be all I could take for maternity leave. Using everything I had, I was going to have 3.8 weeks of maternity leave. I had resigned myself to that, and had actually considered resigning right before Emery was born, and living off of a $5000 loan until Jacob graduated in May.

Today the receptionist at work, Pam, came scurrying up to me with a packet, and said, "Fill this out before I give them to anyone else." It was the form for voluntary furlough from January 5th-March 16th.

I filled it out, and turned it in. There was an area to describe why you did or did not want furlough, and I put, "Due to your policies, this is the only way I will be able to take more than 3 weeks maternity leave and still feed my family.This is my alternative to resigning from the airport." Pam read it and nodded the whole time.

I have a time off request filled out using my accrued time for December 22nd through January 4th, and March 16th-April 5th. The only reason I am able to get the extra three weeks in March is that holiday time resets itself at the end of January, and I won't have to use my vacation time in December, since I'll have the holiday and sick time that will expire December 31 to use for the two weeks in December.

I won't know until November 15th if they will give me furlough, or if they will give it to the ticket counter girls who have seniority over me, which is a very real possibility. If you are a praying person, please lift this up for us.

26 Week Update

I had another ordinary and uneventful week. Literally nothing outstanding enough to report happened, other than the fact that I bought a mattress for Emery, and got a new phone. Both of these are huge deals to us, as they were both yet another provision by God for things we needed but couldn't afford without his help.

I also planned out my maternity leave this week, and turned it in to the airport's secretary to have her look over and let me know if it would work or not. I am very, very nervous about it. The tentative plan is for me to use all of the holiday and sick hours I have left (which will all disappear on 12/31) as well as my vacation days from December 22-January 4th, and then take the voluntary furlough, which should last through the end of March. I would then use all of 2014's holiday and sick days, as well as the 40 hours of vacation I would have received on 1/1, and return to work mid-April. The only issue I would run into is if they count giving me furlough (which they'll be giving 30% of their staff) as my maternity leave. They only offer 12 weeks of maternity leave, and furlough will be every bit of that 12 weeks. If that's the case, then my whole plan goes out the window. we shall see.

How far along? 26 weeks

Total weight gain: I still haven't weighed myself. I find that the less often I do that, the easier this whole getting huge thing is on my self-esteem.
Maternity clothes? Still have the same amount, although I'm going to need to invest in new bras soon, and warmer clothing. The high today was 54, and I was freezing.
Have you started to show yet: You tell me!

Stretch marks? None that I didn't have already.
Sleep: Sleep just keeps getting more and more restless, and I just keep getting more and more tired.
Best moment this week: I was at my doctor's appointment, and it was the first time in my life I had gone to the doctor alone. Jacob had a mid-term to study for. My blood pressure was high because I was freaking out, I thought she was going to send me for my glucose test-- it was not good. The nurse left to go get Dr. Allison, and who should be standing outside the door but Jacob. He came in and sat down, and when I said, "I'm so glad you're here, I thought you couldn't come!", he said, "I decided that this was more important than cramming for the mid term."
Miss Anything? My grandpa.
Movement: She is constantly moving.
Food cravings: Chips and dip
Anything making you queasy or sick: Sinus drainage!
Gender: GIRL!
Labor Signs: Definitely not.
Symptoms: Backaches, headaches, heartburn, swollen hands and feet, Braxton Hicks
Belly Button in or out? Still very much in. I don't think it will come out, but it is much shallower
Wedding rings on or off? It's on a chain around my neck, because I keep forgetting to put it back on.
Happy or Moody most of the time: So, so moody.
Looking forward to: Decorating the nursery, eventually!

25 Week Update

This week has been long and tiring. I feel like that seems to be the way my weeks always are, but whatever.

My Papaw had surgery on Tuesday for his spine. His back has been broken several times, and the last time it did not heal. He has been in tremendous pain since this spring when he broke it last, and had been told that if he did not have this surgery, and it was not successful, he would be wheelchair bound within a year. The good news is that the surgery appears to have been successful! I saw him on Friday, and despite being incredibly confused from the muscle relaxers and pain pills, he seemed very good.

I saw my Grandma on Friday, as well. She was not having a good day, but I think it helped to see me. I think that getting back into a regular schedule is very hard for her, especially considering how much Grandpa did for her. Polio left her  in a wheelchair, and Grandpa has been taking care of her almost since she was first in the wheelchair. 

I'm still numb about it. It still doesn't seem real to me.

How far along? 25 weeks

Total weight gain: I have not weighed myself, but I will be weighed at my doctor's appointment on Thursday.
Maternity clothes? Still have the same amount. In the picture below I am wearing one of Jacob's shirts, because I can.
Have you started to show yet: You tell me!

Stretch marks? None that I didn't have already.
Sleep: I have been exhausted this week from being sick, but I haven't been sleeping very deeply.
Best moment this week: I was checking in the sweetest couple from India. They were in their early 40s, and you could tell they were nervous about being in the airport. As I was almost finished checking them in, the husband said, “You’re expecting, too!” His wife’s face lit up as she noticed, and I said I was. They congratulated me over and over, and then he said, “We’re due January 27th.” I probably offended them, because I leaned in and asked what he said. When I said I had the same due date, the wife leaned over and hugged me. We talked for a few minutes, where I learned they’d been trying for years to have a baby and this was their first pregnancy. They’re having a boy. As they were boarding, the wife ran behind my gate and hugged me, and said, “I hope God blesses you with many children. We will keep you in a our prayers.”
Miss Anything? My grandpa.
Movement: She is constantly moving.
Food cravings: Waffles
Anything making you queasy or sick: Prenatals, still
Gender: GIRL!
Labor Signs: Definitely not.
Symptoms: Backaches, headaches, heartburn, swollen hands and feet
Belly Button in or out? Still very much in. I don't think it will come out, but it is much shallower
Wedding rings on or off? It's on a chain around my neck, because I have swollen again
Happy or Moody most of the time: So, so moody.
Looking forward to: Decorating the nursery!

My List of Baby Items

I have been well and truly nesting today. My anxiety disorder likes to manifest itself through extensive cleaning when I'm anxious, and I have been borderline panic attack-y all day today. This is my first day completely alone since Grandpa passed and my Papaw had his surgery, so I have been doing everything I can to stay somewhat distracted. I reach a point when in this anxious cleaning mode that I know I have to stop, because the act of cleaning is feeding the anxiety. I started cleaning at 7:30 this morning. It is now 12:36, and I have reached that point.

My current distraction is making a list of all of the items I need for Emery, so that I can go register this afternoon. I've started an online registry on WalMart.com, and I'm hoping that I can combine it with an in-store registry, as a great deal of the necessary items are only in-store, and therefore can't be added online.

I'd like all the feedback I can get! If you see something superfluous, tell me. If you think I'm missing something, tell me! All items with with an asterisk are items I own already, or that family will be letting us borrow. God has truly blessed us, as I have not personally purchased a single thing, yet we have been given so much that we will need.

Furniture

• Crib *
• Mattress*
• Bassinet*
• Rocking chair*
• Dresser/changing table
• Changing pad for the top of the dresser
• Hamper
• High chair

Gear

• Stroller*
• Shopping cart cover*
• Baby monitor
• Baby sling
• Infant tub
• Swing
• Baby hangers
• Car seat
• Night light
• Safety gates
• Cabinet and door latches
• Outlet covers

Nursing

• Boppy*
• 12 burp rags *
• 4-6 bottles
• Nipples
• Bottle brush
• Dishwasher caddy
• Breast pump
• Nipple cream
• 3 nursing bras
• Breast pads
• 5 pacifiers
• Sippy cups
• Baby spoons
• Baby bowls

Linens/Bed Sheets

• 2 hooded bath towels*
• 2 receiving blankets*
• 2 crib comforters/blankets*
• 4 crib sheets
• 2 crib pads
• 2 waterproof mattress pads
• 2 bassinet sheets
• 2 changing pad covers
• 2 swaddle sets
• 6 wash cloths

Clothing

• 3-6 Footed sleepers
• 4-6 short sleeve onesies
• 3 long sleeve onesies
• 2-4 bibs
• Bunting
• 2 - 4 hats
• 1 jacket
• Mittens
• 12 pairs of socks/booties
• 3-5 pairs of pants
• 3-5 little t shirts
• 3 sweaters
• 2-4 dressy outfits

Health

• Baby powder
• Blunt nail scissors
• Brush
• Cotton swabs
• Diaper doo
• 30 cloth diapers (to do a load every other day)*
• 18 cloth wipes
• 3-4 boxes newborn diapers (disposable)
• Baby soap
• Baby shampoo
• Nasal aspirator
• Teethers
• Thermometer
• Sun shade for the car

Play

• Baby bouncer
• Mobile
• Soft toys
• Soft books

For Me (Kind of)

• Diaper bag
• Breast cover for nursing in public
• Maxi pads
• Underwear I can throw out
• Nursing tops

24 Week Update

Oh, this week.

If you read my post about the curse of October, you'll know how this week went. Monday was filled with mental preparation for all of the anniversaries of sadnesses that I have to struggle through this month. I told myself that this year it would be different, and no new anniversaries would be added to my list. Unfortunately, at 1:30 a.m. on October 2nd, Jacob woke me up and told me to check my phone, because he had just missed a call from my Daddy, and then my Mama. I checked my phone, and sure enough, I had to.

My Daddy is never up past 10, so to get a call from him at 1:30 in the morning, I knew exactly what had happened. My Grandpa's aneurysm, which had threatened to go for 8 or 9 years now, had finally blown. 

I left Wednesday morning to be with my family, and didn't come home until after the funeral on Saturday. I probably slept a grand total of 16 hours during this week. I was sans Jacob the majority of the time, which I didn't like. I've gone from 11 grandparents down to 4, so I've dealt with my fair share of loss, but this is by far the worst. 

Growing up, my parents both worked full time jobs. We lived next door to my Daddy's parents and grandparents, to help take care of them. My Grandma contracted polio when she was 14 (fun fact: she was the oldest person in Laurence County to contract polio) and it left her wheelchair bound,so we stayed close. With them being right there, they were the baby sitters for my brother and I. I spent more time at their house than at my parent's house growing up. I feel like this loss is closer to losing a parent than a grandparent.

Yet it still doesn't seem real. I'm numb from the heart up, you know? I can't believe it.

Friday, I was up most of the night because my throat hurt. I spent all day Friday and Saturday in various stages of struggling to breathe because I was trying not to cry, and struggling to breathe because I was sick. It didn't help that during the interment it was pouring down rain and 45 degrees outside.

Saturday night I barely slept, because I couldn't breathe at all. I knew I had to go to work on Sunday, because I had already missed so much this week. So, despite gasping for air, I went to work. I made it through the first three flights without dying, but as I was checking in the WORST family ever (story for another time), I started to feel like I was going to black out. I had left my radio and phone at the gate, so I walked back to the bathrooms Jacob was cleaning, and let him know. The medics at work gave me some oxygen to get my O2 levels high enough for me to make it to urgent care, and then we left.

We got to urgent care, and they pulled me back to check my O2 levels, which were acceptable. She asked about previous conditions, and I told her I would be 24 weeks pregnant today, and that I hadn't felt her move in a while. She hadn't looked at my stomach in her rush to make sure I was breathing. They informed me that they would be taking me to the ER, that way Emery could be checked on, and I was somewhere safe if I went into labor. She also informed me that if I did go into labor, I needed to make darned sure I dragged it out until at least midnight, because Emery wouldn't be considered viable enough to attempt to save until 24 weeks exactly.

I spent all afternoon in the ER hooked up to oxygen and fluids, and they discharged me with a prescription for prednisone, zithromax, and tylenol 3. I am scared to death of the medicine, but the doctor made a good point: If I'm not breathing, Emery's not breathing. The doctor said it looked like walking pneumonia that was trying really hard to be pneumonia, and that it was a good thing I came in when I did. I feel better than yesterday, but still really crappy. It hurts so bad to breathe. But Emery is moving, so that's a very good thing.

How far along? 24 weeks

Total weight gain: 191. Thank you, comfort food.
Maternity clothes? I thought about buying funeral clothes from Motherhood, but instead made do with an empire waisted dress of my Mama's.
Have you started to show yet: You tell me!

Stretch marks? None that I didn't have already.
Sleep: I didn't sleep much this week.
Best moment this week: Seeing my family, and hearing the heartbeat
Miss Anything? My grandpa.
Movement: She is constantly moving.
Food cravings: Sierra Mist with Cranberry
Anything making you queasy or sick: Prenatals, still
Gender: GIRL!
Labor Signs: Definitely not.
Symptoms: Backaches, boobaches, boob leakage, heartburn
Belly Button in or out? Still very much in. I don't think it will come out, but it is much shallower
Wedding rings on or off? It's back on. When the temperature fell, my swelling stopped.
Happy or Moody most of the time: So, so moody.
Looking forward to: Decorating the nursery!

The Curse of October

As you may or may not know, I can't wait until fall. Fall is by far my favorite season, and I wait rather impatiently for it all year. However, every year I know that fall means October will be here, and October seems to be cursed.

Since 2008, Octobers have been a series of negative events for my family. Not a single October since then has gone by without someone dying, and it's supplemented with other atrocities. Typically it starts with something small and stressful, for example, the last two years have started with impending major surgeries for someone in my family. This year, I thought the first sign of the October Curse would be Papaw's surgery next Tuesday. I kept telling myself that would be it, that this year I would just have all of the anniversaries of sadnesses to deal with, that nothing new would happen, save for Papaw's surgery.

Last night at 1:26 Jacob woke me up with a question, "Amanda, where's your phone? Your mom just called me." A phone call from family in the middle of the night is never good. I spent the next few minutes trying to find my phone, and wake up enough to process what he'd said. I finally found my phone, saw my missed calls, and felt my heart drop. I looked at him, and said, "Oh my god Jacob, it's my grandpa."

I couldn't get enough signal with my phone to call, so I used Jacob's. Mama answered, and I said, "What's wrong?" She said exactly what I knew she would, "Amanda, your grandpa passed away tonight."

See, my grandpa has had a lot of health problems. He had the largest aneurysm Barnes in St. Louis had ever removed from an aorta removed when I was 12. We found out three years ago that an even larger one had formed on his aorta, and that because of its size and location, and the tumors his lungs were filled with, there was no way to have surgery on it.

His doctor told us that the aneurysm would eventually burst, and when it did Grandpa would have time to say, "It burst", and then he'd be gone.

Last night, at 12:30 a.m., Grandma heard Grandpa yell, "Wilma, oh Wilma, it's happened!" My Grandma had polio as a girl, and it left her paralyzed, so she kept yelling from the bedroom to him while she tried to get to her scooter. She made it to him in time to see him pass. My uncle Scott (a neurologist) heard and ran downstairs. He performed CPR while my aunt called 911. They all knew he had passed, but that didn't stop them from trying.

According to my Grandma, he had been in some pain that day, and she asked if he thought he needed to go to the hospital. He said that he had the right to be in pain, because he was old, and it didn't mean he should go to the hospital with every new ache. Grandma said he was particularly ornery that day, and that the last thing he did before he passed was pop some popcorn to eat while he watched his late night shows.

At this point it still doesn't seem real to me. It seems like I should hear him limp out of his bedroom, and say, "Well, Amanda! What are you doin' here?", just like he did every time I would come visit. It seems like he should come remind me that he was almost a 13 pound baby, to scare me more about Emery, and tell me stories about when Dad was a baby. He should grab my arm and squeeze so hard it hurt,like he always did. And he should say, "Your grandpa loves you.", with his voice cracking like it always did when he said that.

I spent all day every day from the time I was born until I was in high school at my Grandma and Grandpa's. They lived next door, so it was convenient for Mama to leave us there while she worked. My grandparents played a huge role in who I became. Grandpa is the first one to go home.

A man who went to school with my Dad posted this on Facebook this morning, and I feel like this sums Grandpa up pretty well, "I just found out that Avon Snyder passed away. Avon was the father of one of my elementary/junior high/high school classmates. He was a great man and I am near tears at news of his passing. He and his wife, Wilma, ran the local grocery store, often putting their finances in jeopardy while making sure that those who needed credit in order to eat got what they needed. Avon's family was not wealthy. As a result, when he was a boy he often went to school without the basic necessities to be successful. As an adult, he and his wife made sure that every child who needed help with supplies got what they needed. He was named by the Missouri State Teachers Association as a 'Friend of Education.' He gave back to the community, working the Fall Festival; he was a fixture in civic life. The impact he had on my small hometown in far southwestern Missouri truly is immeasurable. The world is a poorer place without him. I will keep his family and the community in my heart as we grieve together in the coming days."

23 Week Update

When you work at an airport, a few things are guaranteed. One) your schedule will change every time flight times change, and hours are not guaranteed, because delays happen. Two) someone will yell at you. Three) you will work every holiday,and someone will yell at you about the fact they have to travel on a holiday, while you're at work on a holiday so that they can travel on a holiday.

This week the flight schedule changed, and my hours are weird and not fun. Nothing brings more joy than running two gates for two different airlines at the same time by yourself. I work 40 hours a week still, but I have two six hour days, which means the other three are great fun. 

I have never ached so badly or been as tired as I have been this week. It seems like every year, right when fall begins, the stressful things start rolling in. Last year my dad had surgery, I totaled my car, switched jobs, had a miscarriage, and on and on. This year it's started with my Papaw having a surgery to keep him from being wheelchair bound, exhaustion from being pregnant and working a very stressful and demanding job, dealing with never seeing my husband, and the upcoming anniversary of the miscarriage.

This week also marked three years since Jacob and I officially started dating, and I realized that this is the second year in a row I was pregnant on our anniversary. 

My parents came down for an evening and installed a cat door after a particularly unfun fight with Jacob, and I started making a baby blanket for Emery.

How far along? 23 weeks

Total weight gain: I still haven't seen my weight. I'm scared to.
Maternity clothes? I am in mostly maternity clothes, with a few pre-pregnancy pieces thrown in. I broke out the old oversized sweaters this week, and have found that - surprise! - they're not as oversized as they once were.
Have you started to show yet: You tell me!

This week I realized that I can no longer see my feet if I stand up straight and look down. Here's a picture from my vantage point!

Stretch marks? None that I didn't have already.
Sleep: Still having weird dreams, and trouble falling asleep.
Best moment this week: Seeing my parents.
Miss Anything? Bending over. And James has Texan beer in the fridge, and it looks wonderful.
Movement: She is constantly moving.
Food cravings: Sierra Mist with Cranberry
Anything making you queasy or sick: Prenatals, still
Gender: GIRL!
Labor Signs: Definitely not.
Symptoms: HEARTBURN, general discomfort, vivid dreams, backaches, Braxton Hicks, movement, breakouts, swollen feet, etc.
Belly Button in or out? Still very much in. I don't think it will come out
Wedding rings on or off? It's back on. When the temperature fell, my swelling stopped.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Moody, for sure.
Looking forward to: Decorating the nursery!

22 Week Update & Gender Reveal

Little Booger is a girl! Jacob was incredibly surprised, and I could not be happier! I wanted a little girl so badly, and all I heard from Jacob and his family were, "Leaches don't have girls! Leaches don't have girls!" His grandma even had my Mama mentally preparing herself for a boy, and Mama had been saying from the start it had to be a girl, because Stewards always have girls first.

She's definitely a girl, though.

That, my friends, is a baby with girl bits. Jacob and I will be naming this little one Emery Gail. From the ultrasound it looks like she's got my horribly awful chin, and the Leach nose. Dr. Allison said that the reason I was measuring so large, and the reason it sometimes sounded like two heartbeats, was due to her size. Apparently Emery is going to be more like a Snyder baby than a Leach baby. Leach babies usually run right around 6 pounds, whereas Snyder babies average out at 9 or so. Dr. Allison said she's thinking Emery will be at least 9 pounds. Yay.

How far along? 22 weeks

Total weight gain: I still haven't seen my weight. I prefer it that way, as I think it would be way too easy to trigger my weight related anxieties right now.
Maternity clothes? I am in mostly maternity clothes, with a few pre-pregnancy pieces thrown in. It's starting to cool off here, (finally!) and I'm finding that my clothes are not geared for fall/winter, so I'll have to add to my collection shortly.
Have you started to show yet: You tell me!

Stretch marks? None that I didn't have already.
Sleep: Lots and lots of discomfort and weird dreams
Best moment this week: The ultrasound!
Miss Anything? I'm still missing being headache free. I also miss being able to get up and bend over without a hassle.
Movement: Sooooo much. She never stops!
Food cravings: Gardettos!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Prenatals, still
Gender: GIRL!
Labor Signs: Definitely not.
Symptoms: HEADACHES, general discomfort, vivid dreams, backaches, Braxton Hicks, movement, breakouts, swollen feet, etc.
Belly Button in or out? Still very much in. I don't think it will come out
Wedding rings on or off? It's on a necklace around my neck.It still fits just fine, but the fact that my hands and feet have been swelling and then going back to normal and then swelling again was making the ring rub my finger raw.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Moody, for sure.
Looking forward to: Decorating the nursery!