24 Week Update

Oh, this week.

If you read my post about the curse of October, you'll know how this week went. Monday was filled with mental preparation for all of the anniversaries of sadnesses that I have to struggle through this month. I told myself that this year it would be different, and no new anniversaries would be added to my list. Unfortunately, at 1:30 a.m. on October 2nd, Jacob woke me up and told me to check my phone, because he had just missed a call from my Daddy, and then my Mama. I checked my phone, and sure enough, I had to.

My Daddy is never up past 10, so to get a call from him at 1:30 in the morning, I knew exactly what had happened. My Grandpa's aneurysm, which had threatened to go for 8 or 9 years now, had finally blown. 

I left Wednesday morning to be with my family, and didn't come home until after the funeral on Saturday. I probably slept a grand total of 16 hours during this week. I was sans Jacob the majority of the time, which I didn't like. I've gone from 11 grandparents down to 4, so I've dealt with my fair share of loss, but this is by far the worst. 

Growing up, my parents both worked full time jobs. We lived next door to my Daddy's parents and grandparents, to help take care of them. My Grandma contracted polio when she was 14 (fun fact: she was the oldest person in Laurence County to contract polio) and it left her wheelchair bound,so we stayed close. With them being right there, they were the baby sitters for my brother and I. I spent more time at their house than at my parent's house growing up. I feel like this loss is closer to losing a parent than a grandparent.

Yet it still doesn't seem real. I'm numb from the heart up, you know? I can't believe it.

Friday, I was up most of the night because my throat hurt. I spent all day Friday and Saturday in various stages of struggling to breathe because I was trying not to cry, and struggling to breathe because I was sick. It didn't help that during the interment it was pouring down rain and 45 degrees outside.

Saturday night I barely slept, because I couldn't breathe at all. I knew I had to go to work on Sunday, because I had already missed so much this week. So, despite gasping for air, I went to work. I made it through the first three flights without dying, but as I was checking in the WORST family ever (story for another time), I started to feel like I was going to black out. I had left my radio and phone at the gate, so I walked back to the bathrooms Jacob was cleaning, and let him know. The medics at work gave me some oxygen to get my O2 levels high enough for me to make it to urgent care, and then we left.

We got to urgent care, and they pulled me back to check my O2 levels, which were acceptable. She asked about previous conditions, and I told her I would be 24 weeks pregnant today, and that I hadn't felt her move in a while. She hadn't looked at my stomach in her rush to make sure I was breathing. They informed me that they would be taking me to the ER, that way Emery could be checked on, and I was somewhere safe if I went into labor. She also informed me that if I did go into labor, I needed to make darned sure I dragged it out until at least midnight, because Emery wouldn't be considered viable enough to attempt to save until 24 weeks exactly.

I spent all afternoon in the ER hooked up to oxygen and fluids, and they discharged me with a prescription for prednisone, zithromax, and tylenol 3. I am scared to death of the medicine, but the doctor made a good point: If I'm not breathing, Emery's not breathing. The doctor said it looked like walking pneumonia that was trying really hard to be pneumonia, and that it was a good thing I came in when I did. I feel better than yesterday, but still really crappy. It hurts so bad to breathe. But Emery is moving, so that's a very good thing.

How far along? 24 weeks

Total weight gain: 191. Thank you, comfort food.
Maternity clothes? I thought about buying funeral clothes from Motherhood, but instead made do with an empire waisted dress of my Mama's.
Have you started to show yet: You tell me!

Stretch marks? None that I didn't have already.
Sleep: I didn't sleep much this week.
Best moment this week: Seeing my family, and hearing the heartbeat
Miss Anything? My grandpa.
Movement: She is constantly moving.
Food cravings: Sierra Mist with Cranberry
Anything making you queasy or sick: Prenatals, still
Gender: GIRL!
Labor Signs: Definitely not.
Symptoms: Backaches, boobaches, boob leakage, heartburn
Belly Button in or out? Still very much in. I don't think it will come out, but it is much shallower
Wedding rings on or off? It's back on. When the temperature fell, my swelling stopped.
Happy or Moody most of the time: So, so moody.
Looking forward to: Decorating the nursery!